A statue in Temple Square in Salt Lake City depicting the moment LDS founders Joseph Smith & Oliver Cowdery went into the woods in the of Spring of 1829 and were greeted with the angel of John The Baptist come from Heaven to bestow upon them the power of absolving sins through baptism…I’m sure there were plenty of historical witnesses and I’m doubly sure John came down in that bitchin’ tunic.

Here’s where Cowdery and Smith visited by the Apostles Peter, James and John, at which time they were given the authority to lead God’s church on Earth. Once again, I’m sure all the contemporary accounts of this event burned in some fire or something. Did I mention this all happened in rural Illinois in the 1820s?

God is also, apparently, a huge fan of John Locke.

Tabernacles y’all! And don’t tell me no one else thought those main organ pipes looked like giant gold and copper penises.

No, ladies and gentlemen, that is not a to-scale model of Minas Tirith from Lord of The Rings, but is in fact The Salt Lake Temple.

I’m spending the night in Beaver, Utah. This was in front of the gas station across from my motel. Pray for me.