Anyone who has been following these diaries might remember that I had pledged to eat 1 of the evil laxative Haribo Sugarless Gummi Bears for every $5 that was donated to help the West Virginia Clean Water Hub, The Keeper of the Mountains Foundation and Aurora Lights distribute potable water and sanitary supplies to folks in the 9 counties effected by the Freedom Industries chemical spill on January 9th. Well, over the weekend I wolfed down 104–or $525 worth–of the Demon Shit Gummis and have survived to tell the tale!

So, naturally you must be thinking that, since I’ve eaten the satanic gummis, this little fundraising thingy is over and West Virginia water tastes like it came out of a Brita filter…But no! It isn’t and it doesn’t and The 1st Inaugural Mountaineer Bad Beard-Off for Clean Water still needs your donations to help folks in West Virginia to get clean drinking water AND help them to create rain catchment systems and other long term solutions for water contamination.

But, for those of you who are scared that the fundraiser will grow stale, fear not, because I have another novel perk for you all to pick up when you donate! In addition to the wildly popular Creepy Daguerreotype for $25, I have added a new perk of a Picture Postcard From The Middle of Nowhere for JUST $15! It’s a steal! Haven’t you always wanted a picture postcard of the World’s Largest Buffalo in Dickinson, ND or The Neil Armstrong Museum in Wapakoneta, OH?

Of course you have! So come on down and donate right now…I can guarantee it will be more satisfying than the Super Bowl you watched last night.

To give you an idea of the very real impact these donations have on people in West Virginia, I’ve included a few more pictures of volunteers, young and old, who have given their time, effort and energy to helping their neighbors throughout the state: