Bowel-Destroying Gummi Bears For Clean West Virginia Water

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

I GIVE YOU THE 1ST INAUGURAL MOUNTAINEER BAD BEARD-OFF FOR CLEAN WATER SUGARLESS GUMMI BEAR EAT-OFF!

 

FOR EVERY 5 DOLLARS YOU DONATE TO HELP PROVIDE CLEAN DRINKING AND BATHING WATER FOR THE PEOPLE OF WEST VIRGINIA, I WILL EAT ONE SUGARLESS HARIBO GUMMI BEAR, UP TO 200 GUMMI BEARS.

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These Gummi Bears are the spawn of Satan…I will eat them for your perverse, vicarious enjoyment in exchange for donations to help the 300,000 plus West Virginians who have been without clean water for nearly two weeks now

THIS MAY SOUND LIKE A LOT OF MONEY PER BEAR, BUT IF THE AMAZON REVIEWS ARE ANY INDICATION (http://slightlyviral.com/beware-sugarless-gummy-bears-on-amazon-com/), JUST 20 OF THESE LITTLE BASTARDS CAN MAKE YOUR COLON EXPLODE.

SO GO TO THE DONATION WEBSITE (http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-1st-inaugural-mountaineer-bad-beard-off-for-clean-water/x/6139230) AND KNOW THAT EVEN A DONATION OF 5 MEASLY DOLLARS COULD RESULT IN UNPARALLELED GASTROINTESTINAL INTERNET HILARITY.

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Categories: Film & Event News, Fundraising, Social Justice

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